No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize