Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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