Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I touched a dick in church today
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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