I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
