So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
