Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
