So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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