Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
