What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
3 2 1 whiskey
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
