Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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