You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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