don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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