So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
