I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
