Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
