My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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