Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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