i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
