doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
