Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
