It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
