5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
