Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
