Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Moan for me like Helen Keller
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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