my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
