Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
