dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
