her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
