Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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