I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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