Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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