If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How's work?
Spinning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
