Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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