So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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