At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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