I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
