what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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