if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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