Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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