i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize