the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
