Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
