All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
