is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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