what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
