Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
