"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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