I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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