they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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