You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
