yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
