haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You ate ashes out of my bong
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
