If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
