the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
