Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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