It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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