Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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