If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
