party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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