I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize