You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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