Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
