You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
