my vag is so smooth its legendary
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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