its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
