We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
