It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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