he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
