My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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