Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
