Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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