just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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