no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
