I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Holy shit dude........stairs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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